| denise |
| | 03/12/09 at 09:18 AM | | #1 |
|
I didn't really feel too honest when I did this so i hope you can steer me a better way. I was meeting with a contractor in front of one of my office mates (tenant) and I told the contractor the job was coming out of my pocket so that he would "sharpen his pencil" and give me the best rate.
It made my office mate feel bad and want to abandon the project b/c she didn't want me to have to pay for it. The project benefits her office.
OK, so I heard it in her voice wanting to back down and not cause me to spend the money so I had to disclose to her that I really do not know for certain yet if I have to pay for it or not. iMy comment was mostly just for the man bidding the job to sned him a signal. I am about 90% certain that I get to pay for it, but I won't know for sure until I submit the bid to the owner of the building.
What could I have done differently?
|
| Loading... | |
| Gregg Oliver |
| | 03/12/09 at 11:43 PM | | #2 |
|
You are conducting a negotiation, which means you are trying to get a fair price in exchange for something you value, in this case a service.
Your approach is called an 'Appeal to Pity' and is considered a logical fallacy, meaning that the contractor should not let it effect their judgment. They should be giving you a fair price no matter who is paying.
In a negotiation with someone with whom I may be doing business again, my rule is to "never ask for anything I wouldn't give, nor offer anything I wouldn't take." You didn't violate the rule.
As far as what to do differently, there may have been other ways to ask for the contractor's "best price". I think the important content would include that i wanted them to make a fair profit and be competitive. I might say "I understand you need to make a fair profit on the job, and I should tell you that both my landlord and I are VERY cost conscious, so I am taking competitive bids."
Those would be close to MY words and may not be natural for you.
I think you may want to clear the air with your office mate. I might let them know that the expense may be unplanned, but in your opinion it is necessary and is certainly your responsibility to see to it that it is fixed.
Let them know if you agree that the responsibility may also correctly be shared by others (like the landlord). Explain that it is your intention to determine if there are others that should help pay and, if not, you are fine with paying. Specifically, use contrasting to say
"I don't want you to think that you are in any way responsible for the problem, or that if not for you I wouldn't fix it; I would. And if the landlord is responsible for all or some of the expense, then I am sure we will work that out. I do want you to know how much I appreciate your empathy, and how I value our relationship."
Those words may not come naturally to you, so rephrase that so that it is authentic for you.
The power of using the contrasting technique (a "don't" statement followed by a "do" statement) lies in it's ability to sincerely clarify your position and focus your counterpart's attention.
Hope this helps
|
| Loading... | |
